Love or Love of first sight

My Class Fellows of French Certificate Course in Punjab University Chandigarh.

I remember Madam A. Boolchand and Anita Dharamani.

Uncle Mohinder Sen with my father Gurusharan Singh Datta 

I wrote on 7th July 1967. "Love is the gift given by God. Enjoy it. All are not so lucky." The writings of some poets are mentioned below. 

 "Virtue should be the aim and end of every life, All Else is Vain.

 Duty should be its the dearest friend If higher life it would attain." 

 "We go to marriage or to death At determined time and place. We are her plaything; she blows us where She lists in space."

 "So frank and noble that the eye, was loth to quit that sun-browned face

 She looked and looked then gave a sigh, and slackened suddenly her pace, 

What was the meaning; was it love Love at first sight, as the Poets sing." 

 On 9th March 1968,  I am not able to distinguish between love and passion. Love should be unselfish. Passion may be selfish. Love should be dutiful. Passion does not understand duty or responsibility. Is it true? If it is, then why does a man love his wife after marriage? Why do you want good qualities in the opposite sex? Why do you want to marry a rich man or woman? How can love beget after marriage?

Punjab Engineering College Chandigarh (Now known as PEC University of Technology)

After selecting your partner for your personal gains that can not be love, love can not be selfish. People love each other due to their selfish gains, and then they call it love. It can not be love. It may be contractual living for selfish gains or interest. Love does not calculate money. Love does not see caste, race, size, facial cuts, hair, qualifications, or family. Passion in the form of marriage sees these qualifications. 

Love is natural. The heart of a man beats rapidly when he sees a girl in a sexy dress. It is not loving. It is passion. It generates a sexual feeling in a man. When the heart of a man beats due to the grace of a lady, due to the polite talk of a girl, then it is love. It is love because it is not due to selfish interests. It is due to appreciation. It is due to brainpower. It is not due to physical power. So this is the difference between love and passion. 

Passion creates feelings of love and sex also. When you want to sacrifice your life for one sight of your beloved person, then it is love. Such a sacrifice is known as part of love. If it is true love, then it will succeed. It will overrule every part of life. Love is immortal. Love can bring life from the jaws of death back to the universe. God also loves those who love and love truly.

 I saw her again. I know nothing about her. I want to see her again and again. I may call it one-sided love. I never had the courage to talk to her. I enjoyed her company. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to see her. I was mad at her. But destiny had something else for me. I know that the world is selfish. Parents are selfish. Children are selfish. Leaders are selfish. Government is selfish. I know she does not coincide with my ideology. I wanted Doctor Wife who may earn, and I may spend my time working for the unity of the world or serving others. She is not a Doctor. Love is staking, stumbling. My aim is to overpower my emotions. I see so many faces. I meet so many girls. Why She? I can not proceed forward. She may be hesitant. She may also be fearing. Love which may be in a starting stage can be crushed with the fastness of time. Time heals, and one forgets. This is the law of Nature. 

Love is so nice. You can spend the complete night remembering your love. You may cry for her. But once time has passed and you have missed that opportunity, it is challenging to get back. I came to know her name. Her father was General Manager at C.T.U. I loved her. I used to feel good after seeing her, after talking to her. I told her about her father's visit to our college and remarked that he is a great man. Once She and I appeared in a test. I got 37 and a half. Madam was checking her copy. I also stood near her and wanted to check her numbers. I told you that You got fewer marks. I was the secretary of the French Certificate course at Punjab University. I counted her marks and left, as I felt it was unnecessary to stay for a longer time. It may give a bad impression. 

 The next day she was angry. She said that I thought you were helping me. I wanted to meet her father. I knew someone who could take me to her house. But soon, I realized that I am in love. I may forget my aim. My Aim is more important. I must work hard to complete my aim. Still, love overpowered me. I asked her about her studies. What will she like to do? What does she think about working girl? I thought I shall marry her. She is from a good family. Her nature is good. She is beautiful. I thought that if she works, then I shall marry. Why am I writing all these thoughts? It keeps a record of events and time. It tells me that time has gone by and you did all this, and It may be delightful during my old age. I shall study my all thoughts and shall enjoy all this. 

The idea to work for Unity of the World is deep-rooted in me. I feel I am helpless. I shall cease my interest in living if I do not achieve my aim. The more I am delaying my aim, the more firm determination I am getting to do hard work. I want to sacrifice all my life for this. I am convinced that I am not sacrificing my love, but some power is taking me away from my love. So Love is not selfish for personal gains. Love is also not that blind. Love gives you the inspiration to work hard and hard for your aim. 

If your aim is for the welfare of society, then love shall help you achieve that aim which is good for everyone. So love is sacrifice. Love is mighty. Love is above all. One can never forget her love. Love is pure as God. Love is power. Love can never be selfish. Love begets love. 

Today I am 60. I found that I failed. I failed to get my love. I failed to be with someone who loved me. I failed to achieve my aim. I never thought of money. So I failed to be a rich man. I failed, and I failed in most of my dreams. I do not know why? Perhaps I lived in my dreams. I never had the guts to rebel. I never wanted to annoy my father or mother. I tried to get what I could not get. Opportunities were plenty. I always missed it. So my best wishes to persons who could get their first love. It must be a great feeling to live together. But one has to go first. It may be a great loss to lose whom you love the most.